Priscilla Amedee.

Bidding farewell, 2011.

2011-12-31T03:14:00.002+08:00

I can still vividly remember I kept writing/typing 2010 instead of 2011 at the beginning of the year because probably my brain had yet to accept the fact it's indeed 2011 already. Then again, this incident feel so yesterday. Yet, here we are, preparing to end 2011 and welcoming 2012.

I still feel that I'm not at all ready for the coming of 2012. I was shopping for a scheduler that day and when I found one, I flipped to the month of June (yes, my birthday!) and realized by then, I'd probably be preparing to look for a job and enter into the adultshood. The thought of it now is enough to send fears creeping into my entire being. Honestly, I'm not ready. Couple of reasons why....

1. I am not ready for a commitment in any jobs
2. My longest job lasted 2 weeks (don't judge)
3. I am enjoying every bit of student's privilege

These 3 are enough, aye? Then again, I definitely have my reasons of being all excited and anticipate whats gonna happen stepping into the whole "new life". Guess it gonna be yet another test for me to trust what my big God has instored for me, to trust His plans are to prosper and not to harm me. Okay why am I yakking about 2012 when my objective supposed to be blogging about 2011. Um, back to topic....

I would not proudly proclaim 2011 been the best year ever for me because if I ever does that, it's a lie. But honestly, it was a great one, with the Lord and people who care enough. Cliche but again, would not have made it through if not for the grace of God. It was quite a struggle for me to trust God when He took grandma away earlier this year. Just recently, I met this old lady and she reminded me of grandma. I teared. I still miss her, more than anyone ever understand. I miss her so much, it hurts. I knew I had to wrestle my emotions against the truth of God. Shameful of myself, but there were times I allowed emotions to be the winner. Number of things seem to follow after and little by little, many things fell apart in my life. My faith for God wavered, and it's not something I'm proud of. I truly understand what it meant saying "I can't boast about my love for God because I fail him. But I can boast about God's love for me, because it will never fail." Indeed. I am thankful for the many trials and testings.. I promise it wasn't easy. I took many steps back and tried to handle things, by myself. Yet I am glad, as I looked back... God has never, ever.. Given up on me. Not even a single time, despite failing him again and again. Such unfailing and unconditional love touches me, all the time. I would not trade this God with any silver or gold, with any riches untold. Ever.

A thanksgiving point for 2011 is this, I am glad to experience God's presence in my life to an extent I never thought I would. However, it does not mean every problems are automatically solved when I chose to put my trust in God. But at the least, I know I'm not alone, He's with me. There are friends in my life that I really miss and it seems like I lost a few of them that once meant a lot to me. It's scary how you thought you knew someone from the inside out and how the next day, he/she is nothing more than an acquaintance. I'm not going to go into details but yeah, if you're (still) visiting this place and (still) reading this... Please know I do miss you, and the times we had. On a happier note, I met quite a handful of new friends this year and hey, many are people whom I am truly very thankful to God for! Many many countless blessings showered by God be it in the area of my personal life, family, relationships, studies... It was amazing.

2011 indeed been a crazy roller coaster ride with God but looking back, this ride is definitely worthwhile. In fact, I'm looking forward for more on the upcoming new year.

Enjoy your last day of the year!

Presence.

2011-10-20T05:44:00.003+08:00

Time check: 5:44am.

I know it's been long since I blogged and now that I'm back, I'm here at such weird and unearthly hour! No, I'm not having insomnia, probably because the caffeine kicked in too well I'm still awake like an owl, supposedly (instead of being here) doing my project.

Anyhow, I was randomly reading this oversea's senior pastor blog from some church and something hit me hard. It was talking about death and the things to do and not to do.. One of which I can't help but to agree is that (in my own words) "2-3 weeks or even month(s) after the lose of a loved one is crucial. All the person need is not the presentation of the truths but merely presence of a friend."

One of my friend's grandmother passed away about a week ago, it just triggers me of the the fact that granny has left me almost 8 months. Honestly, until now, it feels like just yesterday I held her cold hand in the hospital. Tears can still be seen welling up my eyes even until today, especially when I think about how much we went through and how much she loved me. It was one of the worse moment in my life when she left, I remember crying every night to God. But that's not the point now.. What I am thinking about tonight (/morning. or whatever it is!) is the fact I can remember so vividly who was (and probably, was not) there for me. I remember the best gift I had from friends that visited the funeral wasn't their comforting words (forget about those that came from text messages, not even in person) or things like "God has the best plan for everyone" (yes, I appreciated it but it probably wasn't exactly what I needed at the moment) but yet simply, their presence. I repeat, presence.

Someone close to my heart said "I'm sorry that I'm not good at words." but no, it didn't matter. What matter was this person was there consecutively for nights and the presence was all that I needed. Another loved one drove me out for supper in the middle of the night (the day granny was cremated, which convicted me further that I am losing her, forever) just so because I needed to be out thinking that temporal 'staying away' from my family allowed me to "forget" about granny's death. I was appearing strong throughout until after supper, I broke down in the car and cried, a lot. I was then given a hug, that meant more than anything ever. Adding on, this loved one cried with me and said "I don't know what to say, but seeing you this way hurts me a lot." It kinda put a smile on my face, I knew it was an assurance from God that He'll never let me be alone.

I don't know why am I blabbering so much now, probably because it's the time of the day when people just get so emotional (no worries, I'm still in control of my emotions right now) and especially because recently I met up with people that matters so much to me that we had never met in a long while. They brought up memories from the past, people we were closed to and how much we went through together and all. Sadly, also how things are never the same now, will never be the same anymore. You know what? "Not knowing what to say" or "Not knowing how to express my concern when I really am" are purely nonsense. Ironically, people who tell me "I feel that they don't care because actions speak louder than words" can be the same people that gives me those excuses. Think about it, friend is a gift from God. But if you lose them, God is the last one you should even think of putting the blame on. Or rather, there's only one person you can play the blame game with and that's the one on the reflection when you look into the mirror.

Sidetrack: My sissy and mom's alarm just rang and I'm still awake, not even preparing to go to bed!

On a lighter note, I'm not angry. If it sounds like I am. Just voicing out this inner thoughts I have and my gratitude to whoever I know is true in my life.. Indeed I don't need people who's just there to celebrate my victories, but offering their presence during my valley moments. Although not everyone I appreciate will read this but still, thank you.

Responsibility.

2011-08-25T01:06:00.002+08:00

Doctor: Do you dream very often when you sleep?
Me: Yes! To make matter worse, they're usually nightmares!
Doctor: So young and already so troubled?

I know the conversation with my doctor recently seems like an absurd way to start my entry but I'm always amazed how doctors secretly (okay, not so much of a secret) know their patients so well. Nope, I'm not exactly very troubled or rather, troubled is not the best word to describe me, as of now. But true that, I'm 21 and I've been medidating on the word - Responsibility.

Its been a year since I entered the uni ministry in church and one more year till my completion of degree. This may be the most cliche statement ever in the whole entire universe but still it's so true, time flies. I remember listening to one of the christian's podcast and it says.. "The bad news is time flies, the good news is we are the pilot." Despite all the moving ons, from major to little little ones, I wouldn't deny I don't always appear to be vulnerable (outwardly) as how I'm really inside. Misunderstandings here and there, but sometimes you need to play the role of the bad kid, even it's for the good of the other party, the sacrifice gonna be worthwhile. Doesn't matter how much it gonna hurt, even if no one understands, God will. No, I'm not self pitying (if it even sounds like I am). At the end of the day, lesson learn is to not assume what other party is really feeling and thinking based on what he or she do, because many times your guess might just be wrong. To assume is like making an "Ass" out of "U" and "Me". There are certain lessons in life, you can only get it when you learn it the hard way. That's tough love for you, uh huh uh huh.

Been so long since I last blabber so much publicly on an online space.

Lavish my love.

2011-07-24T04:11:00.006+08:00

When I'm far,
You bring me near
You hold me close,
Erase my fear
You never let me go

I want to lavish my love on you, Jesus
To sing from my heart, my gratitude
For all you have done,
And continue to do
Im thankful to know love,
And hear it from you

Coincidence is merely a way for God to remain anonymous.
People been saying I'm "lucky" and "what a coincidence". Personally, I never believe in luck, only God's grace. It's not coincidence, but God's favour upon me.

How can I keep from singing.

2011-07-23T02:19:00.002+08:00

I will walk with you
Knowing you'll see me through & sing the song you give

I can sing, in the troubled times
Sing, when I win
I can sing, when I lose my steps
& I, fall down again
I can sing, cos you pick me up
Sing, because you're there
I can sing, because you hear me, Lord
When I call to you in prayers
I can sing, with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels,
& the saints around the throne.

Healing.

2011-07-20T02:26:00.004+08:00

Time heals.
But then again, Jesus is the ultimate healer.

Time merely force you down your throat subconsciously in a very indirect way to subsequently forget what happened. But when it come back haunting you, it's almost inevitable getting hurt all over again.

Because there's freedom truly only in the name of Jesus.

Deadlinesss.

2011-06-25T02:01:00.002+08:00

I randomly saw this pic from FB just now and...
I've got craving for awfully chocolate now.
This week is a crazy week to rush, rush, rush, rush and more rushing of work to meet deadlines. Finally one down today though I still think presentation could've been better... Next gonna be PDA's deadline on Monday which also happens to be my birthday's celeb itself. So a part for me looks forward for the day yet another part hope it takes longer to come. If only this PMS module ain't 100% project base, I wouldn't be this nervous I guess.

Ah well, it sound kinda sick but somehow I do enjoy the process of rushing of work. Especially for this week... I had so much opportunities to spend time by myself, lappy or comp with music and my brain. I've thought through quite a number of things, uh huh uh huh.

Lesson learn:
Put your hope and expectations at the right source, Pris.

我累了。

2011-06-03T01:42:00.002+08:00

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Eventful day.

2011-05-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

My foursquare check-ins on twitter
25th May 2011.
All these, excluding reaching school at 9am for an inspirational talk by an inspiring man that is a global champion in public speaking and the viewing mall in Terminal 1 after dinner at Fish & co.! Okay obivously not forgetting home sweetest home.

I don't exactly check in every where that I go actually. Just happened that today I'm more active (for whatever reason) with my phone (or rather, foursquare) that by the time I reached home, my battery left with pathetic 7%.

Hmm. I feel that I'm blogging for the sake of blogging... Anyhow it's strange how I'm really drained physically and crawling to bed after this when it's only 1230am! Either I am really aging or many happenings around are sucking my life bit by bit. Whatever it is, I'm holding on strong with God, so must you.

Smack that, all on the floor.

First Impression.

2011-05-19T20:37:00.003+08:00

Oie, smile!
Thursday today + no lesson tomorrow = Long weekend! Honestly, something been bugging me recently.. I know it kinda got to do with school but I can't really explain much with words. I've been feeling so tired and stress thinking about deadlines after deadlines yet a part of me really wish my student life can slower down. I don't wanna graduate that soon because a part of me is enjoying school, friends and whatever a working adult ain't enjoying.

Today...
Lecturer: I like the way you talk... You are....
Me: What?
Lecturer: You....
Me: What what?!
Lecturer: I think you're cute
Me: That's a... Very.. Wrong word.. To use on me

My friends were telling me few days back on how I'm not able to skip lesson without my lecturers knowing. Hmmmm. I wonder why as well. Even for one of my current module that's like 70 people in a class, my lecturer used my name (not just once or twice) on something she tried to illustrate to the class.

On one of the class activity on First Impression..
C: Initially I thought you're the one with no expression..
Me: Ah?
C: You don't smile at all and......
Me: ..and what?!
C: Someone who wouldn't mix with people like us

I kinda like one of the module I'm taking because it speaks a lot about ourselves with a little of psychology here and there. But anyhow, I still think I'm the misunderstood one, like always. I guess it really takes time to know someone from the inside out and for people like me, it might even take your entire life.

Uh huh uh huh.

Vulnerable.

2011-05-12T11:23:00.000+08:00

I was born to tell you I love you.
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality.
Oh wait, above is lyrics of a song itself. Maybe I should get a D in originality. Or wait again, I'm kidding. Maybe I'll stick to my Ace.
开心就好。

Occupation: Student.

2011-04-20T12:20:00.003+08:00

I've got couple shoe with boyfriend!
-Points at Ronald.-
I thought this is a very dead space until I realise there are few of them who still faithfully come to this blog and new people who google their way here! So annoyingly surprising. But nonetheless, love you guys!

Anyhow, it's only 2nd week of school and work is slowly piling up. Many times, a part of me hope to get over education (it's been 17 years!) yet another part of me know I'll definitely miss life of a student since I probably gonna work for the rest of my life until say, 60? So that will be close to 40 years of working! Okay I shall enjoy my student's life now while I can.

For without faith, it is impossible to please God.

2011-04-09T12:48:00.013+08:00

I remember once I was so thirsty and needed a drink, I saw a vending machine and was so glad. Until I realise the drinks were all out of stock. I got pretty pissed because the issue was not as if I didn't had enough coins to purchase it.

1. Some say with money, it's everything
2. Some think with faith, every prayers will be answered

I beg to differ for both.

Sometimes even as christians, we treat our faith like coins, we treat God as the vending machine. We thought as long as we have faith and come before God, our prayer must be answered. Then when it don't, we get disappointed and start questioning or being skeptical whether God is real. Such common doubts nowadays.

Some people expect God to operate a certain way - in their way, not his. The truth is, faith in God only fails when people hold a faulty understanding of Him.

Faith is not about pumping up yourself by coaxing "If only I believe, I must believe, I must believe..." That is an attempt to push yourself beyond what you know about God and that itself, ain't faith.

Romans 10:17
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
God is infinite, the only limit to our faith is our understanding and knowledge of His word - if you want to increase in your faith, be sure to increase your knowledge on the word.

Always remember God is under no obligation to us. If you think as long as you say a lengthy and seemingly powerful (with the christian jargons) prayer, and God must answer your prayer, you're no where near being correct.

I just feel kinda holy discontentment and anger when people praise God like never before when something good happens or their prayer answered. But when something bad in life happens, they got all so angry of God and even doubt if He love the world. I mean, come on.. You can be all angry and self pity (but know it leads you no where at the end of the day), but don't insult the existence of God just because things don't go your way.

Believing doesn't make God's word true; His word is true, therefore I believe in it.

Accomplishment.

2011-04-08T00:31:00.004+08:00

As the title says it all. I'm feeling so accomplished because almost 3/4 of my to do list are marked with a tick! Pretty amazing, all within 1 week plus. It's the second week of holidays (only) and new sem's starting next week. A part of me kinda dread for new sem to start yet a part of me is all so excited for the arrival of June!

Right, one of my to do after exams is to confirm/book a venue for my 21st party and I did it last week. I wasn't exactly very excited until my family kinda start to show more excitement than me and consistently sourcing for good venues. So yeah I've text and informed the day of celebration to friends that are close to my heart. How to not feel loved when the first reaction from all my close friends that will be working during the period to spotaneously said "I'll be taking off for the 3 days just for you." and bestf told me last night that she had already took her off.

I'm halfway through with my guest list, okay I know that's super early but I don't care because I'm pretty excited already.

Ticking to do list.

2011-03-26T02:58:00.006+08:00

I know I look pretty cui here but..
1. This is the first pic took after exams
2. The only pic that shows the words on my shirt
My friend was like jokingly asking if I deliberately wore that shirt on the day of last paper, so I jokingly replied "Yeah I wanna feel like a super girl because it's end of exams!" So anyhow, the people around me seriously feel more excited than me that my exams ended! The day itself and before of my last paper, I've been questioned.. "How are you feeling now that you gonna smell freedom soon?"

After exams...
P: Hmm why don't I feel very excited?
Friends: Hmmmmmm...
P: I think I'm too tired to be excited

It's been long, I've yet to catch up with sleeping monster and I bet we have so much to talk about. It must be tiring for it, after a tough battle with caffeine especially Starbucks (and talking about it, I'm banned to drink starbucks for the next 1 month, so do keep watch over me) and Red bull. Other than that, I'm excited to do many things with my more-excited-than-me-people! God must really love me to place them in my life! Aww.

So, moving on.. I'm ticking my to-do-list one by one now.

Today is the day.

2011-03-24T11:04:00.015+08:00

Last paper in 4hours time!Can you feel my contradicting mix feeling of joy/excitement together with nervousness/anxiety?
I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.

Happy 1st Month,

2011-03-22T21:34:00.010+08:00

..in wherever you are.
< You loved me and obviously, there's so much more left to say
if you were with me today face to face.
I never knew I could hurt like this, and everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile",
miss you but I try not to cry, as time goes by.
It's true that you've reached a better place,
still I'd give the world to see your face. >
- Mariah carey.
I remember once while studying, my iPod was on shuffle mode and this song gave me goosebumps, the lyrics meant so much. Its always in difficult moments, you grow in another level of faith and trust in God. I'm learning to give thanks! Not for all circumstances, but in all circumstances.

Anyhow, exactly 45hours more!!!

Loved beyond measure, called to be greater.

2011-03-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

Shepherds/Disciplers Camp 18th-20th March!

Been a great yet crazy one whole month ever since mid Feburary. Happenings after happenings and yes, 2 papers down! 1 more to go and no doubt it's the toughest, so God bless.

There were people who question me about the decision made to go for this camp despite being in the midst of exams. Nope, not as if I am very prepared for the coming paper. But yes, I know it's all gonna be worthwhile. A very simple question I've been pondering on even before I was a christian came straight back to me today.

What's life after this? After I graduate, marriage, start a family, being one of the top successful woman, accomplish all wonderful things ever etc... We can never bring our achievements and money with us to the coffin, aye? So seriously, what's life all about to you?

I found my answer 3.4years ago, and I'm clinging on to it.

My goodfriend is Starbucks.

2011-03-11T15:03:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I don't know what exactly get the best of me that I'm not studying as much as I should or like how I did last semester (oh wait, did I mention I passed all with an ace? Right, through God's grace, yay!). I know saying it's not easy to study in the midst of getting over something/someone is a lousy excuse to some, but at least not to me. Not that I'm allowing it to get the best of me nor agreeing it's alright. Just probably, probably I'm still growing in this and really, I'm trying to give my best.

Whatever it is, I'm thankful for a big family to go through this with me (especially mommy who I've been sharing a lot to) and dearest angels in disguise around me. God really know me best.

How are you? Have you eaten? How's school?

2011-03-07T13:51:00.006+08:00

I thought you were so strong,
you would make it through whatever.
I've been dreaming of grandma for 3 different nights since she left and I am the only (thus far) to dream of her (among extended family) except maybe once when mom had an indistinct dream of her as well. The first was really a vivid one whereby she asked me about my life, have I eaten and how's school.

Google told me when you dream of someone often...
1. You miss them and you want to hear their voice again
2. You're thinking of this person even in your subconscious mind
3. This person miss you and wants to talk to you

Apparently I am not very sure of the third one yet I guess I am able to testify to the first two. I knew in my dream that she is dead and was so glad I was able to see her again, yet somehow, it hurts to wake up knowing it was only just a dream. But hey, better dream than nothing.

Finally went to church yesterday after 2 weeks (1st for Bangkok, 2nd for the wake) and something God spoke so clearly to me...

Romans 8:28 (New International Version)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Heard this verse many times I even lost count of it, yet I'm claiming this promise again remembering God's plan is the best.

Letter for you.

2011-03-01T00:11:00.023+08:00

Dear you,

I am already missing you so terribly much though it's been only 1 week since we last met. It seems like just yesterday, that I held your hand. I wonder how are you doing now and whether you're adapting to your new life in where you are.

Honestly, I still couldn't get over the fact that you left. I was still planning my schedule on Monday and every single day, I planned to meet you. Even if it's merely for that few hours, even if it's just merely staring at one another, even if it's only a one way conversation, even if it means me getting hurt from the inside out looking at you and your condition.. It's more than enough. Unfortunately, I never even had a chance to go along with my schedule, not even for a day. You left me the next day.

People say we don't know what we've got until it's gone. Truth is, I know what I had, I just never thought I'd lose it. At least not that soon. I was ready to forfeit my trip to Bangkok until we decided to go ahead when the latest news was a positive one. I can vividly remember how I smiled like a silly kid when I read the text message from Singapore on the second day that doctor commented you had at least a year more with us. But then again, my heart sank right to the bottom when I read the very first text message when we touched down Singapore.

I can still remember how I held your really cold hand that day with another rubbing your head, calling out to you wishing you could reply me while tearing like a spoilt tap. I could felt your pain by just looking straight into your eyes and grabbed your hand a little tighter to assure you that you're not suffering alone. I was here, to feel every pain you had. Probably not physically like you but definitely emotionally. I remember that afternoon when I was alone in the hospital with you and I was very lost like a lost child in the forest without a compass when the doctor said "Your grandma's BP went down again and it's not a very good sign, be prepared she may not make it through by tonight.." I hope my ears were playing trick. I made a silly prayer to God, telling Him how I wished I was the one suffering instead, I was all ready to suffer whatever you suffered as long as you're fine. Then again, I know my God doesn't work this way. So instead, I made another prayer to God, telling Him to take your pain away, even if it means taking your life away. If it's His will to, let His will be done... Trust me, this must been the most painful prayer I made in my entire life thus far. I teared even more after that prayer.

I must be lying if I say it's always easy to let go whatever God wants me to. I know I gotta let go of you one day, I'm old enough to understand death is part of the life cycle. But why? Why so soon? Why leave now when I got so much closer to you in the recent years? There's still way so much I wanna do for and with you.

Yet I'm thankful for God's assurance that you went to somewhere without pain, you had gone to meet and reconcile with Grandpa after 10 years of him leaving us. Know that I'm really proud of you, when I saw how you struggled that day and for the past years when you struggled and was just a step away from the cruel thing people called it coffin. I am so glad you did not gave up until 22nd Feburary 2011, when I trust you had done your best fighting to stay alive. Living in such generation where people wanting to give up/gave up life over certain issues, people like you fought so hard to catch every last breath you could, I'm really really proud of you.

This entire week your children and grandchildren got together and we talked about how much you impacted our lives, how much joy you brought into our lives then it would naturally drew an upward curve at both ends of our lips. Flashbacks of us just came like a gushing wind every moments I think of you.. Even now that you're gone physically, know that every precious moments with you will be well kept in my heart. The moment your body was slowly sent in to cremate, I was making a desperate prayer to God that one day, I can still hold your hand and talk to you like never before, and I believe He heard my prayer. When that day arrives, we can play your favourite poker game, we can talk about how much I changed as I got older, we can hold hands and just smile at one another, we can do many things we did before and create even more memories together...

As much as it still hurts a lot every now and then remembering you left us, I wanna stay strong or to grow even stronger. Mommy told me you were a really strong woman since young, and I wanna grow up to be like you. Thank you Grandma, for everything. I loved you and I'm officially missing you, a lot. I hope God sends this letter to you and that He will translate this letter to teochew for you because I guess you wouldn't understand English.

Lots of Love,
Priscilla Amedee.
(Your precious mischievous grandchild.)

Hi singapore III.

2011-02-21T02:54:00.002+08:00

Back from Bangkok!
Don't judge me just from this picture! I know I look aunty there, with no make up, dressing as casual as possible and having hair as messy as when I just woke up. But as the saying of when in rome, do as the romans do (okay what an excuse), ha!

Anyhow it was a trip with pretty much mixed feelings. Still, I'm thankful God answered 3 of my prayers so all in all, it was a great one. Back to Singapore, back to reality.

Happy valentine's day.

2011-02-14T01:01:00.002+08:00

"People ask me why is it so difficult for me to trust others. I think the question should be why is it so difficult for others to tell the truth."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New International Version)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Bring me way back to true love.

Rain the blues away.

2011-01-31T03:40:00.002+08:00

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.
Singapore has been raining since yesterday until this very moment and indeed the sky was so dark in the noon it felt like it was evening already. Then times like this, I will appreciate a really warm cup of milo more than any other days, ha.

I'm thankful for the 1 week break this week though it also means exams are nearing. Last Friday..

Lecturer: What's another word for it? *Points at me*
P: *Silent stare*
Lecturer: *Whisper very softly to me* Working capital
P: Oh, working capital!
Lecturer: There she goes! A very smart student!
P: -_-

Officially a love-hate-relationship with Financial Management. Ah hate or love, still gonna face it but please brain, please stop brooding about studies and at least enjoy CNY before a new hectic week starts again after that.

P/s: I subconsciously caught myself humming to the tune of Christmas song awhile ago. Someone please tell me its CNY that is coming instead.

Feels like I'm so not prepared for this year's, again.

Tug o' war.

2011-01-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

Whenever I'm here at this page, I'll be lost for words. Life is so much more than I can mention here..

Whole of this week was pretty torturesome with the intake of 1500mg antibiotics daily. Trying to be smart, I rejected MC for school yet body gave in and back to clinic for MC the next day. Okay that was still fine (infact, I secretly enjoy sleeping at home while friends had 6 hours of lecture), the torturous part was when antibiotics stole my appetite away (I was secretly happy when mom told me this initially..) yet doctor instructed me to take heavy meal before consuming medicine (or I'll suffer the consequences of being nausea, headache and giddy which I did on one of the day when I had my medicine with empty stomach, tsk). It's so ironic when you can only take the appetite killer pills after a heavy meal.

I never like those tug o' war game be it mentally, physically, emotionally or sometimes, spiritually. Ah well, still, thank God I was sick before cny. Preparing for a new week to begin in hours time...

Imma be okay.

2011-01-15T03:10:00.002+08:00

& I think about summer, all the beautiful times.

Dear 2011,

2011-01-10T01:04:00.001+08:00

..be good this year.

Love,
Me.

Growing old, and growing up.

2010-12-27T23:59:00.007+08:00

Family's christmas celebration
Recent family's gatherings allow me to have closer contacts with my nephews and niece (and realise kids can be really annoyingly adorable sometimes) especially celeb two days back. On the very same day, I told mom how I wish I'll never grow up and sissy interrupted that that's life and it gotta goes on..

Remember when I was still young like them, my blissful ignorance was a blessing at that age. Not knowing what life's struggles and problems were about, ignorant of challenges that awaited for me and only time when my heart ached was probably when mom threw my favourite toys away.

Yet things are so different now and life goes on, life goes on...

Look at that smile on her face.

2010-12-03T01:06:00.003+08:00

Happy woman.
Exams officially over on monday! I'm a happy woman because I can finally have a break from the daily dosage of caffeine and breaking free from being hungry yet having no appetite.

Although unfortunately, it also means no more being showered with exam kits and being pampered by those sweet ones close to me! With every random yet sweet text messages, popping by places I was studying at, buying me my favourite food/drink, offering prayers that I really needed and the list goes on.. How to not feel loved? Fortunately, I'm quite convicted that their love for me will not only be seasonal - during exams, ha!

Spent quite a lot recently, again. Gotta stop finding excuses like special occassions to buy stuffs for self. You're right if the latest excuse you guess I've been using is Christmas.

Bittersweet II.

2010-11-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

Attended yet another wedding today and as usual, I had the same old bittersweet feeling.

I wonder what God was thinking, when he created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because he made all my dreams come true
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.

Heard this song at the wedding and I think it's pretty nice.

I've graduated ...

2010-11-18T01:19:00.004+08:00

... Not!
I'm so proud of sissy who graduated because to me, she's more than just a degree graduate. It's how she pull through it despite whatever she went through that I'm proud of. I want to be like her and do daddy and mommy proud! Finally 1 down, 2 more to go. I've already listed out the top 20 to-dos after exams! At least my little motivation for now. (Reminds me of the 4 classic motivations - Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Abraham Maslow and Henry Murray - I can actually remember, ha!)

Trust me, almost everything and everywhere I go, I can link it to marketing. So much of studying... I've few people asking me recently "Are you alright?" - They were serious when they asked me that. Like mommy when I asked her "It's 2010 this year right?" and paused for 3 seconds.

Wake up call?

2010-11-14T13:42:00.001+08:00

Prissy, wake up.

Bestfriend of caffeine.

2010-11-06T01:04:00.004+08:00

It's a love hate thing with stress period like this. Dislike how I can spam caffeine as if it's the healthiest thing on earth yet love how my body starts to reject food like a robot who can live without it. Good opportunity to be slimmer, at least for now.

Just an hour ago, I had this surprise redbulls delivery right at my doorstep. Aww. I can hear my first paper calling out for my name already. I don't wanna struggle through and get over this just like that, but to go through it joyfully with the strength of my lover!

Vrrooooooms.....

Letter to God.

2010-10-25T23:59:00.008+08:00

Dear God,

I am inspired to write this letter after watching "Letters to God". It was the second time I watched and I'm once again, encouraged by the little boy's faith. I am not only encouraged how he chose to fight through this cancer life but to still live it through, victoriously. Just with that simple faith - Let your will be done.

This month is a pretty much physically drained month of the year. So many things to say yet so little time. Challenged physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Yet as what I've been singing almost everyday recently, "I'm counting on, I'm counting on God!"

Still, I give thanks for the people and things you placed in my life with me. I see how you really love me through them. Oh well, much are coming my way and I really need to partnership with you in this. I can't do it alone, I'm not gonna do it alone.

With all my heart where you are in,
Priscilla Amedee.
(Your precious child.)

Your will.

2010-10-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

John 3:16 (New International Version)
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Sucha common verse that I know way back before I was even a believer. However, another particular verse been on my mind...

Matthew 7:21 (New International Version)
Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Initially I compared these two verses and 'question' God about the contrary. I thought as long as I believe, I'll be save? Then this question came back to me, "What's believing to you?" Was reminded during OT class yesterday.. Salvation is more than just believing in Christ. So the next question now.. What is God's will for me?

God been speaking so much to me even in times, I try to avoid certain issues in my life. He indeed is faithful even when I was faithless. Honestly many times, I find it hard to let go what's "rightfully" mine. Yet yesterday, I was reminded again...

"People who choose things/relationships over God have yet to understand fully what salvation is about. Because when you really do, you know that nothing, nothing really matters more than an eternal life."
Mark 8:36 (New International Version)
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
What is His will for me?
What about you?

Bittersweet.

2010-09-19T13:20:00.001+08:00

18.09.10
Attended my first wedding as a 'friend of the bride/groom' yesterday. Slowly but surely, I'll attend more of my friends' wedding, that kinda scare me because I feel old, somehow. My two crazy were "discussing" about my "future" (yeah weddings and such) as though they're my mothers. Talking about my next important event.. 21st celebration first aye.

Right, gotta rush to prep now to meet relatives/cousins for uncle's birthday. Feels like so many events going on recently.

University.

2010-09-10T23:50:00.005+08:00

Yet another memorable pic;
Yeah that's me on the floor, I can't remember why and how.
First week of Uni was alright, I guess.. It's like the start of my last two years of student life, I gotta max it well aye.

Lecturer: *Look at me* Do you celebrate Valentine's day?
P: -Nod head-
Class: -Awkward silence-
P: -Shake head-
Lecturer: So it's a yes or no? Why so shy?

I wasn't shy, just felt awkward like "Yes" was a "wrong" answer kinda thing. I didn't mean to be skeptical over such random question, but can't help it if you have seen my lecturer's face.

My usual clique reduced to almost half the number of people, class worse. Yet another transition. Hopefully morning lessons next week onwards make everything so much better.

Galatians 6:9

2010-09-04T03:11:00.004+08:00

I was doing an encouragement card just now and something I mentioned actually reminded myself once again..

"It's easy to start 'emotional high' with God after a powerful prayermeet/P&W/church's camp or even any events. Yet it is not easy to maintain because it requires a lot of recommitting, perseverance and going through different circumstances."
Many have been asking about me being in this new ministry.. As shared to some of them, I think it's really a test on my personal relationship with God. From stepping down in leadership, stripping all away and "starting afresh", what keeps me going is remembering why I'm doing what I'm doing. I know what I did wasn't for my roles and responsibilities yet purely because I really love God. I remember adding on "..it's really a period of moulding of my characters. I think it sounds kinda sick, but I'm enjoying this process with God."

In me, through you.

2010-09-01T02:42:00.004+08:00

Something in me since young.
Peace does not mean being in a place where there's no noise, trouble or hardwork. Rather, being in the midst of those yet remain calm in the heart.. Because when I believe God holds everything, I will trust God my everything.
Sometimes simple little things add much into my life.

It's a choice.

2010-08-27T01:10:00.001+08:00

Love is a choice, every choice has it consequences.

Heart attitude.

2010-08-21T02:41:00.006+08:00

The classic O.O face.
P: Don't know what to wear tomorrow!
Mom: Where are you going?
P: Church uh
Mom: Just bring your heart along

Sometimes little conversation like this struck me too. Especially it coming from a pre believer. How true? That we are always busy being conscious about how we look and dress yet does all these truly matters at the end?

Isaiah 29:13 (New International Version)
The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.
It's the heart that God looks at. Not that how we dress ain't important, but definitely not as important as a right heart attitude.

What's your heart attitude before God today?

Common face, not.

2010-08-17T12:58:00.003+08:00

Hi, seen me somewhere before?
Either time's not on my side or feeling's not right, that I find it difficult to have a proper blog post. Anyhow, been the third week leaving PolyDiNs and being in a new ministry.

People: You look familiar! I saw you before..
P: O.O

I experienced at least 10 people saying this yet unfortunately, I can't recognise any single one of them. It's either they saw me when I was in the youth/tertiary/polydins services or any combine church events. Bud wasn't surprise when I told her this because she's like "Yeah please, it's so you~" kinda reply. Last week when someone asked about the struggles I'm going through, I secretly think remembering people's faces and names is one of it and I seriously think I'm suffering from Prosopagnosia. Sounds funny, but I'm dead serious about this.

On a lighter note...

People: I don't know why, but I always notice you

Er.. If any acquaintances or strangers agree with this, please tell me it's for a good cause. :S

P: I think I just have a common face...
People: No, confirm is you. I'm sure!

For God so loved me, He did not create me with a common face, ha! It's a joke, no pun intended for common faces.

Hi new life transition.

2010-08-09T01:45:00.003+08:00

Though sometimes waiting is the hardest thing, I'll wait.

Over the sea to JB.

2010-07-28T23:59:00.001+08:00

Awesome stonegrill at JB yesterday!
This trip was so sudden that when I received a message the night before, then I got reminded about it. It's like a cheap and nice (for food and fellowship) getaway from Sg! I spent around only S$70 the whole day on food and a bag.

It's like my fifth trip overseas in shortly 10months and more to come. Life's good with awesome people, good food and bestest thing ever, God.

Me.

2010-07-25T02:43:00.007+08:00

Taken on 22nd July 2010.
Today's the last day of WFL after 3weeks, brought back a lot from SHAPE class. 2 objectives set, to discover more about my giftings/abilities to max it well for the kingdom and new insights of the WOG. Thankfully I manage to meet my objectives especially for the first one.

I found out more about myself and how others think of me/see me as, because we were given opportunities to go around asking people in the class.

P: So, what do you think is my ability?
People: Talking!

Got even funnier ones, one of them was,

P: What do you think is my passion?
Someone: Noise
P: -_-

Anyway they concluded "talking" in the sense of communicating, hosting, teaching. K definitely more encouraging than talking alone or worse, noise, ha!

Anyway, we get to redo our DISC personality test today. There's two graphs for the personality test result. One is what "Expected of me" by people and the other is "This is me" graphs. Wasn't very surprise to realise both graphs result in DC (test is done in how we are under pressure). It was told that our personality results may be influence by what we are going through in life (period we do the test), which I agree to a kinda large extent.

It's funny when many saw me today and went "You confirm got 'I' uh!". Agree to an extent, I think I'm more sanguine (only) when I am with my peers. Especially with this particular favourite group of people, I can even be phlegmatic! Even funny when most of us are really choleric when it comes to work/ministry, but we can be really phleg/sanguine when we get together. But okay, to an extent again because I remember there's this time we went out, all of us were really so phleg we couldn't even make a very small decision like where to go next...

Everyone: Okay so seriously, where should we head?
1 minute later, everyone sidetrack..
P: Hellllllllllo? Where are we heading?
This went on for long until I got really serious..
Them: Pris choleric side coming out already!

Spilt personality? Big no. I just realise my personality is very situational. I can get really sanguine when I am comfortable with you, yet in most situations I have/can "fake" my sanguine out. Don't be deceive by what you see and know, humans are more to it, ha!

All in all, am really thankful how God reveal to me more about myself as I continue to seek him, and thankful for those opportunities to use my gifts/abilities for a greater cause.

One life soon to pass,
What done for Christ will last.

Fun stuffs.

2010-07-22T03:08:00.007+08:00

I thought it was funny so...

Worldcup 2010!
I still don't exactly know wassup with 22 men chasing after a ball thing, and I kinda can't believe I used to play soccer when I was in secondary school (for fun). I just watched finals because people sounded as if I'll really regret if I don't, and I was trying to spot my cousins at the bleachers more than looking at the ball.

MSN conver hours ago
Humans are funny bunch of people. This reminds me whenever my neighbours/parents' friends/relatives saw my family and me eating, asked "Oh you all having your meal now?". I feel like replying, "Er no, we are watching the tv". Okay apparently, the MSN one not as funny, because sometimes I do "You there?" people in MSN. Behind the 2 words, it actually means.. "Hi are you on your comp/lappy? Because I got something to ask/tell and if you're not, I wouldn't bother to type so much as if I'm talking to myself". Hmm?

Last but not least...

Where my moolahs spent today
I downloaded this Money tracker app to keep track on where I spend my money on. Good for people like me who love spending money just l i k e t h a t. Apparently I spent really very little on food today! Okay I missed out two items. A bottle of 100plus ($1.25) and a bun ($1.30), ha! It's a joy when I have a day without craving for good food. Oh I bought towel because I forgot to bring mine today for swimming.

Okay enough. Back to prepare my teaching.

Blessed birthday.

2010-07-18T21:26:00.004+08:00

Random pics of Birthday celebrations!
Above pic shows celebs with family, sheep, the leadership team, awesome friends for years and ex classmates. Did not manage to take any pics for celeb with unit peeps though and some other peeps still owe me one, ha! All in all, it was a really blessed birthday this year! I still received gifts yesterday though my birthday was like 2weeks ago.

Anyhow, I just updated this app in my phone just now and...
Pam: Got newer Naughty birds uh?
Bro: Huh? Ugly birds you mean?
Me: Ey is Angry birds uh!

Yums nom nom, I have a passion for good food.

Favourite bible character.

2010-07-14T01:55:00.007+08:00

I remember almost a year back when I attended the New testament bible class, I studied on the characters of Paul. I was and still am very encouraged by him. As much as Paul was a really great warrior for Christ, there were still times when adversity and disappointment took its toll on him.

2 Timothy 4:9-10 (New International Version)
Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.
From this verse above, Paul's hurt and discouragement can be sense near the end of his second letter to Timothy. The pain in those words, the anguish when he twice speaks of being deserted by his friends. In most of Paul's letters, he seems to have an invincible spirit. Yet he was a man who suffered, felt betrayed, and was at times very lonely.

I believe most (or all) of us, in some point of our life, we do can relate to how Paul felt. But hey, I don't admire him because he went through similar stuffs as me but rather, how he chose to look at life in a heavenly perspective.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (New International Version)
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
As I always believe, we can't choose what to or not to come next in life because we are not God. However, we do have the freewill to choose how we wanna respond/look at it.

Paul had experienced a level of opposition and suffering. Yet he was not crushed, and he refused to give in to despair. His goal was to live in such a way that the life of Jesus would be revealed in his response to adversity.

True enough, seriously who don't go through problems/disappointments/hurts etc? Crisis does not make a man, it merely reveals the man. How we respond actually shows our maturity, both socially and spiritually. People who avoid are people who are not courageous to face reality. Yes if you're wondering, it speaks about myself as well. I'm not a superwoman, I do have times I really wanna give up and to have getaway.

But I know faith and courage in God will bring us to a place that fears will never be able to bring us to. It is godly courage that enables us to stay the course, lead to new heights and end the race. I can be courageous, because I know God is reliable.

How are you dealing with life today?

The authentic owner, the Lord of all.

2010-07-02T04:02:00.012+08:00

"I don't know why I used to hang on to something I know I'm better off letting go. It's like I was scared to lose what I don't even really have."
I forgot where I originally got this from, but I found this in my old post of my private blog. It's so true back then, so true now.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say,
Lord blessed be your name.

Every single things that I have now doesn't even belong to me, I am just the steward of it. Get this right because people who do, never hestitate to obey the voice above to let go whatever he want us to, from pleasures to anything we love. We will never whine about how life sucks not being able to have this and that. Because really, a sinner like you and me, what do we really deserve?

All blessings from above are just bonuses for us. No, not randomly, but because God loves.

What? Who? Why?

2010-06-25T01:35:00.004+08:00

I think this is random, but I've been wondering from just now.. That what if one day, I suffer from amnesia, what or/and who will be the thing(s) I can remember, and why?

Random much. But this question is so interesting, no? What about the thing(s) I can choose to remember, and why?

In a selfish way, I think I'll wanna migrate to somewhere I can start afresh in. It's like starting my life all over again, just that I gotta skip the processes of 20years growing up. If that's so, I pray I'll remember the mistakes I had committed (not too in depth maybe) and not repeat them again.

*Snap!* Back to reality...

Hi, whose blog is this? Oh mine.

Greetings from Indo.

2010-06-20T09:11:00.003+08:00

Or to be precise, Batam KTM resort. We just had our breakfast and we gonna shop later! Received a text message this morning that tp's DMM postpone from today to tomorrow. Great, so I won't miss out too much especially when I had missed yesterday service and regional prayermeet. Time left isn't long, I wanna maximize it well.

Alright off to join my cousins and relatives to yak away with my orange juice, love you all.

Never say never.

2010-06-17T01:51:00.010+08:00

It's funny when you have a bestfriend that happened to be a singer. In times of struggles or problems, she's always flooding me with biblical songs (okay I admit she's sweet to find songs that really relate to how I am feeling). Making me watch different christian music videos (okay fine, I admit again it really helps).

So dear God, I don't ask of you to lift me out of every single struggles that I have because I am not God. I don't have to teach you what to and what not to do. I just ask of you, to help me increase my faith and trust precisely in my uncomfortable circumstances. I wanna be like the little boy that cried out and said "Take my five loaves and two fishes, do with it as you will." Even if I'm push to the ground, I'll not pray for you to stop/lessen the pain yet lying down. I ask of your grace to pick me up again.

It's really so difficult for me, but it's too early to give up. Oh wait, I'll never wanna give up.

Thanks, both spiritual and physical bestfriend.

2010-05-31T01:17:00.012+08:00

ID conference 2010!
I wanted to journal this down in my private space, but decided to make it public anyway. ID conference was a blast! So many reasons why but I'll not have time to sleep if I'll to share it all.

If you're one of my closer friends (sorry for whining about this, ha!), you know I'm kinda going through life transitions now and I need to choose a course to major in (been thinking about this for quite a period) for degree asap. I seriously don't want to choose the wrong course and ended up wasting both my time and money. After worship (I prayed about this) today, we're asked to go around to someone from another congregation to pray for one another. I approached this Filippino sister (whom I doubt I ever met before) and we prayed for one another. She gave me the verse Jeremiah 29:11 and at the moment, I know it must be God. It is God. The fact that I did not even told her anything about this. I remember my prayer request was about God to anoint and lead me and my Cg to a greater height.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

When I just received God to my life (was in the midst of some life transitions too), this was the very first verse God spoke so directly to me in my personal prayer time through the bible. It was then my all time favourite verse and now, God spoke through another sister to remind me, once again.

Indeed all I have to do is to stick close to the one who knows my future and there's nothing more for me to be worry of. Like I said today, it is not what course I want to major in. But what course God wants me to major in.

He lead, I'll follow
I am amazed by you once again, thank you God.

High school days.

2010-05-21T01:18:00.002+08:00

I know it's late now, considering the fact that my lesson is 7hours later. But I just found this picture in my old blog and I can't help but to upload it..

Chemistry results of The Foursome
1, 2, 3, 4!
Conclusion?
The lower you scored, the more comments received

Those days..

God's assurance above any others.

2010-05-18T23:58:00.008+08:00

Did I mention, I felt really assured (about a step to scoring well for this module) when my lecturer complimented my assignment infront of the entire class last week?

~~I'm smart~~ VS God's grace

Never about me
Never about me
It's all about you, always about you
Never about me
Never about me

I hate to countdown how many days I'm left with in this current class and course. Everyone wants to get over exams and school but seriously, not the people, true? Well, at least for me..

L: What's another word for 'Infrequent need to repair'?
Classmate: -Confidently shouted- No need to repair

I burst out laughing out loud at the reply when my lecturer asked this today and my clique was like 'Oie, so bad!' (apparently after they laughed as well) to me. What? Funny right.

We're able to call anyone's name to answer next after we answered a question. Apparently I enjoy calling people who are always not paying attention in class (especially people not from my clique). No personal attack intended though.
Peace out.

Assignments filled week + Test.

2010-05-09T02:15:00.003+08:00

Pirate ship ride in Genting!
When I saw this pic, I remember we were like "Wear our hoodies! So our hair will not be messy after the ride."

I realise another thing about me this week. I kinda like library because it's so condusive for me to do my work there. Probably because I'm not allow to talk (too much) there and I can focus (even more) on my work.

Dad came to fetch and drove me home, he waited 1 hour for me because I wasn't done when he arrived. So he went to nearby and had his teabreak. When I was in the car already..

P: Are you hungry?
Dad: No
P: I am :(
Dad: Your business

He wanted to have teabreak with me but I chose assignment over him, but guess what? He parked his car nearby halfway to buy me food. Aww how sweet of him aye.

I'm really thankful how God place wonderful people in my life. Appreciate the genuine love, very much. Thanks people, you know who you are.

Strawberry farm.

2010-04-30T23:59:00.009+08:00

I miss Genting!
..especially after looking at the pics taken on the both trip I went.

Sick.

2010-04-23T23:23:00.005+08:00

Starbucks hot chocolate ftw!
Finally back to this space. Been really lethargic and busy with stuffs and all recently. So TGIF and I don't have to wake up early tomorrow, great.

So anyway, very weird weather lately and I'm sick for almost 2 weeks. Got even worse today when I'm not only down with flu and cough, but sore throat as well. Hm right, I think I'm very extremely lack of sleep, so goodnights all.

[ /Edit 10:11am ]

I suddenly remember this and thought I should blog it since my entry above look kinda boring. Hm few days ago, my lecturer was showing us this..

..and he asked us what is this call
Lecturer: It is for protection
Me: Condom!
Lecturer: Starts with letter 'C'.. then 'O'..
Classmates: Confirm condom!
Lecturer: They are call Cots

Oh and, my niece just came to this pretty earth on wednesday and she's really adorable. I feel like joining some kids related stuffs again, yeah feel.

1 Corinthians 13:13

2010-04-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
I remember one of the question asked during DMM weeks ago, "What if you do not have God in your life?" I answered.. "I will not be able to survive in this crazy world." They jokingly replied, "especially for a crazy girl like you!" Yeah true much.

Life can be a joke sometimes,
..and I wanna laugh out loud at it with God.

Hi singapore II.

2010-04-07T01:40:00.002+08:00

I love my family!
Spent really awesome quality time with them. Rrright, I think we took 1.2k+ pictures altogether, ha! Love their presence.

Bye singapore II.

2010-04-04T03:40:00.005+08:00

Hi darling, I will miss you, so much!
Happy Easter day! Reminds me of the song, "You lived, you died, you rose again up high. You opened the way, for the world to live again". Thank you Jesus.

Right so this trip to the same place, yet with different people. Hm I wonder if I'll play Spaceshot again. The first (and so far last)time I tried, they commented that my face was really pale and my lips turned white. Ha. People close know why.

Leaving house in 2hours+ time.

Cupping therapy.

2010-04-02T03:47:00.013+08:00

Proverbs 3:24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Did cupping therapy today. I thought the old injury had long gone until it acted up recently for few consecutive days, painful much.

P: I don't think I need cupping therapy
Doc: Do you prefer acupuncture? With the needles....
P: ..Er it's okay, cupping therapy
Doc: Woah that's fast!

Mom left me alone in the scary room. Probably because few months back when I went, I squeezed her hand like crazy because the therapy process was really painful.

Ouch? God, healing.

IF.

2010-03-30T00:44:00.002+08:00

..is not a mountaintop word
It is valley talk

If.

Not alone.

2010-03-23T23:59:00.004+08:00

Sentosa today.

A child in me.

2010-03-13T08:57:00.005+08:00

Yesterday at Changi Airport (Y)
The world tear people down to build themself up. But our God is one that can make you strong without making others weak.

So I pray, help us to be stronger
So we'll be back to see a better us.

Hi singapore.

2010-03-04T01:42:00.003+08:00

Back from Genting!
Awesome trip with priceless fun and enjoying of one another's presence. The cool thing is that all of us had a breakthrough each after this trip! Fabulous retreat.

Bye singapore.

2010-02-28T15:55:00.002+08:00

Up high, higher
Gonna leave Sg at 6am+ later to Paris... I wish. Right, just kidding about the Paris part. Be back on Wed, toodles!

P/s: I'm supposed to take my nap but I'm afraid I'll oversleep, thus explain this another random post.

Randomnism.

2010-02-25T04:43:00.008+08:00

Lecturer: Assignment must use Font 12 New times roman
P: Times new roman you mean?

I stayed at a same place for 15hours straight yesterday to revise FM. Sometimes, I seriously don't mind super long school hours. Back to MM, last paper on Fri.

P freak.

2010-02-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

Piggy, potato, pineapple tarts, pinky freak
[PnP] - some friends you can't forget, never want to forget.

Not all pictures speak a thousand words.

2010-02-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

On CNY Day01 took using a $5k+ DSLR
..so clear that I look so chubby.

Happy CNY and Vday.

2010-02-16T01:01:00.008+08:00

Awesome vday with lover of my soul
(Saw a pic something like this and I decided to do one myself!)
Coincidentally cny and vday fall on the same day this year. Nothing much though, but I managed to meet almost all who are close to my heart on this day..

So much to say so little space. I've been reflecting really a lot these days. Despite of so many really annoying stuffs, I love this life of mine, thank you heavenly Daddy.

Favourite food in heart shape.

2010-02-10T00:42:00.002+08:00

Brunch made with love
What a great way to start my day.

Banana Freak Forever.

2010-02-09T02:53:00.014+08:00

Proverbs 27:6 (New International Version)
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

NC16 post.

2010-02-05T03:30:00.014+08:00

13days since I last touch this space, I'm back. But not to blog about typical what-happened-today entry. Rather, something I never exactly tried before.

Warning: NC16 post. (Not for the weak hearted)

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....
...
..
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I bought presents for my kneecaps on 22nd January 2010 and..

Above: The start
Bottom: Few days after
Mom: What's with the injuries! CNY is coming you know?
P: You mean it's okay if I injured myself any other days? >:(

The after's look as if it got worse uh. Apparently, it's just that my injuries dried up after I applied yellow lotion. Amazingly in around a week(or lesser)...

It's so dried, I peeled some dead skin away
(If you tried before, you'll agree it feels kinda good)
I am glad it recovered that fast because I don't want ugly kneecaps for CNY. I thought it's over until exactly a week later, 29th January 2010..

Above: 1 day after I got it (30th Jan)
Bottom: On 4th Feb 2010
Mom: New injuries again? CNY is seriously coming
P: It's okay, at the bottom, no one will see my feet

Once again, I'm glad it recover this fast. Give thanks to God for the creation of yellow lotion! (I hope you guys know what it is)

Forgot to mention, I got those injuries on 2 consecutive Friday playing c'ball. Which I am going to do so again later. Oh wait, it's 5th February 2010 which means, it's exactly a week later again.

So beloved sisters and brothers, if you love me, you know what to do. Keep me in your prayers. No more injuries pretty please!

Took today (4th Feb), pretty kneecaps again (minus scars)!
Wrong expression anyway, I'm supposed to look happy
P/s: I took those pics for fun, but it turn up rather useful
P/p/s: Some parts of my skin look yellow due to yellow lotion
P/p/p/s: I applied yellow lotion everyday by myself!

I know it might sounds funny, but mommsie applied for me whenever I am injured (painful okay!) and I decided to do it myself this time..

I gotta learn to stand up myself, with grace of God
Not just physically.

I wanna be a strong girl.

2010-01-23T02:40:00.000+08:00

Clam chowder (Y)
"When I fell down yet shouted 'go on, don't stop the game', get up and move on, despite the pain.. I was surprised by myself, and I hope I can be like this all the time, in every aspects."

I love how I discover more about myself in every new day. I don't care if it's the good or the bad, they doesn't matter. What matter is this very desire to be more Christ-like every single day.

Life is too short for self-pitying.

Your love surrounds me.

2010-01-13T02:31:00.003+08:00

This soul was lost, but found
So if I am going to be lost once more,
.. let it be living forever lost in your love.

The way we are.

2010-01-06T23:59:00.008+08:00

The lessons we can learn are often the very ones we teach.

Love letter.

2010-01-05T23:31:00.023+08:00

Dear Priscilla,

Now that 2009 had ended, I'm sure you have so much to give thanks to God for. Remember the times you fall and injured your knees, His hands are always there and ready to pick you up, again and again. His love never fail you, not once.

I truly understand how you felt when you were deleting your old messages from 2009. Sometimes, you secretly wish you can avoid certain changes in your life. But precisely it's in times like this, you grow and know that whatever the changes are, God's still in control. He's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. You grow and I see how you stop praying for situations to get better, stop problems from finding you, stop hurts from coming your way. You know very well all these will eventually come. Instead, you pray for God to change your heart attitude, to change yourself. Right, we can't choose what will and will not come our way, but we can choose how to respond to it.

2009 wasn't that easy but you made it through, through His grace. Most importantly, God is very sure of whatever you had went through, and will be going through. Just keep trusting! One day, you will see yourself soaring high up like eagles because His love will see you soar.

Last but not least, always remember the definition behind me. Remember years ago why you picked me among all the others, and remember how I'm gonna be with you for the rest of your life. Remember how God spoke to you about me.

Keep keeping on Pris, move on to another level in God. Cling on to your motto in life.. 'One life soon to pass, what done for Christ will last'. I know you can, because God can and He lives in you. 2010 will be a better year, if you allow it to.

Much loves and kisses xoxo,
Amedee.

New year, new blog.

2010-01-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

The only way to start the year right..
Is to start it with beloved Jesus

Straining towards what's ahead in 2010.